Dark Humor Jokes That’ll Make You Laugh and Gasp
Discover the Edgy Side of Comedy With 300 Brutally Hilarious Lines
Caution: These Jokes Aren’t for the Faint-Hearted (But You’ll Love Them)
Looking for something bold, twisted, and wildly funny? Welcome to the ultimate collection of 300 dark humor jokes that walk the thin line between hilarious and controversial. Perfect for American audiences who appreciate comedy with a bit of bite, these jokes explore topics people whisper about—but we say them out loud with a grin.
Each joke is just two lines long, crafted to hit hard and fast. Whether you’re a fan of sarcasm, shock-value, or just want to spice up your meme game, this collection delivers unfiltered laughs.
Use them to lighten a dark mood, roast your friends, or post anonymously online (we won’t tell). Warning: These jokes aren’t politically correct—but they’re perfectly hilarious. So if you love to laugh at the chaos of life, this one’s for you. Read on, and don’t forget: it’s all just a joke… or is it?
🤣 Top 6 Dark Humor Jokes to Brighten Your Day! 😈💀
🗣️ I told my therapist I hear voices. She said I don’t have a therapist. 🤯
⚰️ Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in. 💀
🎉 My favorite party trick is disappearing. That’s why I wasn’t invited to my own birthday. 🎂
🌙 I have a date tonight. I hope the shovel holds. ⛏️
☕ I like my coffee like I like my sense of morality. Dark and barely present. 😈
💔 My ex asked if I’m over her. I said I checked the pulse—definitely. 💀
😂 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 2 😂
😅 I tried to cheer up my depressed friend. Turns out sarcasm isn't medicine. 😅
😈 Some people die young. Others just keep living to spite us. 😈
🔥 I lost my job at the crematorium. Apparently, people don’t like “extra crispy.” 🔥
🤷♂️ She said I never listen. Or something like that, I don’t know. 🤷♂️
😎 I'm not afraid of dying. I'm just not in a rush to be disappointed. 😎
🍋 If life gives you lemons… Swap them for something with alcohol. 🍸
😂 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 3 😂
☕ My sleep schedule is like my relationships. Non-existent and toxic. ☕
😆 They told me to be myself. Biggest mistake of their lives. 😆
🪞 I got a job at a mirror factory. It’s something I can really reflect on. 🪞
💔 I'm not heartless. I donated it to science... unwillingly. 💔
🧹 I wanted to make a difference. So I deleted my social media. 🧹
⚰️ They said I’d never amount to anything. Now I'm a burden. ⚰️
😂 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 4 😂
🧟♂️ Zombies are just people with a bad case of Monday. Brains? I prefer coffee first. ☕
💀 I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. 🥃
🕷️ I told a spider a joke. It didn’t laugh — guess it was webbed up. 🕸️
🎃 Life is like a pumpkin. Sometimes you’re just hollow inside. 🎃
🧛 I’m a vampire on a diet. Only drinks blood with zero calories. 🩸
🦴 Skeletons never go out of style. They’re just dying to be noticed. 💀
😂 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 5 😂
🧙 I asked my wizard friend for advice. He said, "Expecto debt-ronum!" 💸
🤡 Life’s a circus. I’m just the clown with no spotlight. 🎪
⚰️ I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. 🕰️
🔪 My therapist told me to face my fears. So I stabbed my WiFi router. 📶
👻 Ghosts are just dead people who never got closure. Maybe they need better WiFi. 📡
💣 Some people are like bombs. Silent until they explode. 💥
😂 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 6 😂
🦴 I told my skeleton to chill. It said, “I’m bone tired.” 💤
🩸 Blood donation: Giving strangers the gift of a vampire’s nightmare. 🧛♂️
🕯️ Candlelight dinners are overrated. Try a flashlight dinner in a blackout. 🔦
🔪 I wanted to cut carbs. So I chopped up my treadmill. 🏃♂️
😈 Evil plans are fun. Mostly because they’re illegal. 🚓
⚰️ Death is just nature’s way of saying, “Game over.” 🎮
😂 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 7 😂
🎩 I bought a coffin on sale. People are dying to get in. ⚰️
🛌 My bed and I have a special bond. We're perfect for lazy deaths. 💤
🍔 Burgers don’t judge me. Even if I eat 5 at once. 🍟
🪦 I’m not afraid of death. Just not in a hurry to meet him. 💀
🧠 My brain left the chat. Please leave a message after the tone. 📞
👻 I don’t ghost people. I just die socially. 📵
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 8 💀
🎯 My goal this year was to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 more to go! 🍔
🛌 Depression is like a weighted blanket. Comforting until you can’t move. 😵💫
🎁 I told my dad I wanted space. So he buried me emotionally. 🚀
👀 I asked my mirror who’s the ugliest. It shut itself. 🪞😶
🎤 I wanted to be a stand-up comic. But life beat me to the punchline. 🥴
🧊 Cold hearts don’t get broken. Just returned to sender. 📦
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 9 💀
🧨 I asked life for a break... It gave me a mental one. 🫠
📉 My bank account is like my mood. Depressed and overdrawn. 💸
🎈 I throw shade like it’s my job. Sadly, I’m unemployed. 😔
🪦 I made peace with my demons. They’re more fun than friends. 👻
🔕 I tried to scream for help... But Siri ignored me. 📱
🔒 I opened up to someone once. Never found the “undo” button. 🧠
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 10 💀
👶 I was born to stand out. Then life sat on me. 😩
📅 My calendar has "Breakdown" scheduled. Every. Single. Day. 📉
😅 My therapist said I'm improving. Now I'm sad about that too. 🤷♂️
🎭 I wear a smile like armor. Too bad it’s made of paper. 🫥
💔 My dating life is like my fridge. Empty and full of disappointment. 🍕
🚪 I wanted to escape reality. But I live here. 😶🌫️
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 11 💀
🌧️ I told the rain to match my mood. Now the roof is leaking. 🏚️
🥀 My self-esteem is solar powered. Good luck on cloudy days. ☁️
🧃 Life gave me lemons... I made depression juice. 😶🌫️
🚷 My comfort zone has free Wi-Fi. Why would I ever leave? 📵
🎢 My emotions are a rollercoaster. Without the safety bar. 😵💫
📼 My life’s a movie. Too bad it’s directed by anxiety. 🎬
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 12 💀
🔌 I unplugged my feelings. Best decision I never felt. 🧊
🧠 Overthinking is my cardio. And I’m always out of breath. 😤
📞 Depression keeps calling. And I don’t even have voicemail. ☎️
📉 My ambition fell off a cliff. And took my dreams with it. 😵
🍽️ I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and feel nothing. 😐
🔮 I asked the future about hope. It ghosted me. 🕳️
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 13 💀
📉 My will to live is like my phone battery. Constantly at 1%. 🔋
🚪 I open up emotionally... Like a door that’s been nailed shut. 🧱
🌙 They say shoot for the moon. I missed and hit rock bottom. 🪨
🚫 My therapist blocked me. She said I was too inspirational. 💀
🎭 I put the “fun” in funeral. Mostly because I cause one. 🪦
💼 Applied for a job as a pessimist. They said I was overqualified. 🤷♂️
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 14 💀
🛏️ I sleep like a baby. Wake up crying every 2 hours. 😪
🎂 Life’s short. But my depression is eternal. 🔄
📦 My dreams are like Amazon packages. Delayed indefinitely. 📭
📺 My life’s a sitcom. Too bad no one’s watching. 📉
🧊 My heart's not cold. It’s frozen in trauma. 🧠
⏰ I set goals. Then hit snooze on them forever. 💤
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 15 💀
📉 My grades are like my hopes. Falling fast and beyond saving. 🎓
🧠 My brain’s like a haunted house. No one's home, but something’s wrong. 👻
🎲 Life’s a gamble. And I keep betting on bad decisions. 💸
📅 I planned my future. Then depression RSVP'd first. 🕳️
🚗 My motivation broke down. And I lost the will to repair it. 🔧
🪦 They told me to chase my dreams. Now I'm just tired and unemployed. 😴
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 16 💀
😬 My life is a sitcom. But the laugh track gave up. 📺
🌪️ Tried to clean my room. Found my dreams under the dust. 🧹
📉 My self-esteem is so low, It’s digging tunnels now. 🕳️
👻 Even ghosts ghost me. That's a new level of rejection. 💔
🕒 Time heals all wounds. Except the ones I cause daily. 🧨
💤 I sleep to escape reality. Reality sets alarms now. ⏰
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 17 💀
🥇 I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode since birth. 🪫
🧊 My heart isn’t cold. It’s cryogenically preserved for science. 🧬
📦 My emotional baggage requires extra luggage fees. 💼
🎢 Life’s a rollercoaster. Mine got stuck upside down. 🎠
😵 The light at the end of the tunnel? Just my WiFi router blinking. 📶
🔔 My alarm rings. I hit snooze on life again. 😴
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 18 💀
📅 Every day is a fresh start. Just like my browser in incognito mode. 🕵️♂️
🛏️ I dream of a better world. One where alarms don’t exist. 😵💫
🔋 I’m not out of energy. I’m just buffering emotionally. 💻
🔪 Life stabbed me in the back. I said “Thank you, next!” 🩸
🧠 My brain has too many tabs open. And none of them are responding. 💥
🥀 Happiness knocked. I pretended I wasn’t home. 🚪
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 19 💀
🎯 I set low expectations… So I’m never disappointed. 🧨
📞 Depression called. I put it on hold with anxiety. 📵
🔧 I'm a problem solver. But mostly the one who caused it. 😈
👻 I'm not lazy… I'm just energy-efficient. 💤
💀 Rock bottom and I… We go way back. 📉
🎉 Life's short. But my suffering? Eternal. 🔥
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 20 💀
📚 My childhood was like a library… Silent and full of trauma. 😅
🧠 My brain has two moods: “Why bother?” and “Let’s panic!” 🚨
🛏️ I sleep like a baby… Crying and waking up every hour. 😭
🏁 Life's a race… And I forgot to start running. 🐢
📆 I put the "pro" in procrastination. And the "dead" in deadline. ☠️
🎂 Aging like fine wine… Left in the sun and forgotten. 🍷
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 21 💀
🧨 I told my shadow a joke… Now it avoids me too. 😐
💡 My light at the end of the tunnel… Was just a train. 🚂
📉 My emotional range is like crypto… Unstable and dropping fast. 📉
📦 I packed my feelings away… Now I can’t find them. 📦
⏰ Life hit me so hard… Even my alarm clock is scared. 😵💫
🚪 I walk into rooms and forget why… Probably to escape reality. 🚶♂️
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 22 💀
🪦 My life is a horror movie… With no budget and no ending. 🎬
🧃 My personality is like expired juice… Still there, but something’s off. 🤢
🥶 They told me to chill… Now I'm frozen in depression. ❄️
🧠 My brain runs marathons… On anxiety and sarcasm. 🏃♂️
⚰️ I sleep like a baby… Crying and full of regret. 😵💫
📅 My calendar only has one event: "Try again tomorrow." 📆
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 23 💀
🪦 My daily steps: From bed to breakdown. 🛌😵
🎈 My mood swings more than a pendulum. And just as pointless. ⏳
🥀 I don’t fear death. I fear running into my ex there. 😬
🛑 I avoid mirrors… Too many jump scares. 😱
🔋 I'm not lazy. I'm just on energy-saving mode. 💤
📉 My love life is like my Wi-Fi. Unstable and always disconnected. 📡
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 24 💀
🎢 My emotions are a rollercoaster. But the tracks were never finished. 🛠️
⏰ I sleep like a baby. I wake up crying every hour. 🍼
💼 My job is secure. No one else wants it either. 🤡
📉 My optimism is like a stock crash. Sudden and irreversible. 📉
🧼 I clean up well. Right before life dumps more on me. 🚮
💀 Life gave me lemons. I made a funeral punch. 🥤⚰️
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 25 💀
🚑 I tried being positive once. I tested negative. 😷
🎯 My life goal? Just making it through Monday. 💤
🎩 I dressed for success. But life came in sweatpants. 😩
🚪 Every time I find the door to happiness… It’s an emergency exit. 🔥
📉 My confidence is like Bitcoin. Crashes every week. 💸
📚 I read self-help books. Now I hate myself with better grammar. 🤓
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 26 💀
🎢 Life’s an emotional rollercoaster. And I forgot the seatbelt. 😵
🔔 I tried to get in touch with my feelings… They sent me straight to voicemail. 📵
🛑 My comfort zone has a lock. And I swallowed the key. 🗝️
⏰ I hit snooze on my dreams… Now they don’t call back. 💤
🧨 I light up a room. Usually by setting off alarms. 🔥
📼 My past is like VHS tape. Cringy, outdated, and impossible to erase. 😬
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 27 💀
🕳️ My confidence disappeared… Somewhere in a group chat. 📵
📚 My life story is a dark comedy. With no editor. 😶🌫️
🚽 My childhood trauma is like my ex… Still hanging around for no reason. 😵💫
🪤 I set goals. Then trap myself with expectations. 🎯
💊 I take life one pill at a time. Mostly vitamins… and regrets. 🧠
📅 I planned a future. Life sent a cancellation notice. ❌
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 28 💀
😵 My brain’s favorite exercise? Overthinking at 3AM. 🛏️
🧨 My social skills are like expired fireworks… A little spark, then awkward silence. 🎇
📦 I cleaned out my soul… Found nothing but sarcasm and dust. 🧹
🥄 I wanted a silver spoon life… But I got plastic forks and trauma. 🍴
🛑 I tried being positive once… But negativity filed a restraining order. 🧾
🔌 I unplugged for mental clarity. All I heard was my anxiety echoing. 🎧
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 29 💀
📚 My life is a self-help book… Written by a drunk comedian. 🍻
👻 I tried to manifest happiness… But all I summoned was debt. 💸
🍕 I’m not lazy, I’m just energy-efficient in misery. 😴
🎯 My goals are like ghosts… Everyone talks about them, no one sees them. 👻
🛌 I asked life for a break… It gave me a breakdown. 😵💫
🧠 My brain's best function? Inventing tragedies that never happened. 🎭
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 30 💀
🚑 I asked for life advice… They sent me to the emergency room. 🧨
🎲 Life's a gamble… Too bad I’m bankrupt in luck. 💸
🪞 Mirror, mirror on the wall… Why do I even try at all? 😶🌫️
📅 My future’s so bright… Because it's a dumpster fire. 🔥
🎉 I throw parties for my sadness… Only depression shows up. 🥲
🧩 My sanity left a while ago… It said it needed space. 🚪
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 31 💀
🧠 I tried to lighten the mood at a funeral. With a flashlight. 😬
⚰️ They asked if I had skeletons in my closet. I said, "Only on Halloween." 🎃
😈 I started a support group for pessimists. No one believed it would work. 🤷♂️
📞 Depression and I are on a first-name basis. We talk more than my mom. 📱
🚬 I quit smoking for my health. Now I just stress eat in silence. 🍩
🕳️ I hit rock bottom so hard... I left a dent. 🪨
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 32 💀
📅 My social calendar is so empty... Even ghosts stopped haunting me. 👻
🛏️ I sleep like a baby... Wake up crying every 2 hours. 😭
🪦 I don’t fear death. I fear dying mid-Netflix series. 📺
🥀 My dating life is like my fridge. Cold and full of expired stuff. ❄️
🛒 Life is a shopping cart. Mine has a broken wheel and no brakes. 🛞
📉 My confidence dropped faster… Than crypto in 2022. 🪙
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 33 💀
🪦 My will to live expired, just like my houseplants. 🌵
⚰️ I laugh in the face of danger, because crying is too mainstream. 😂
💉 Life gave me lemons, so I injected some sarcasm. 🍋
☠️ Why be positive? Negativity has more personality. 😈
🖤 I’m not depressed, just in a committed relationship with darkness. 🌑
👻 Ghosts aren’t scary, my social life is the real nightmare. 🥱
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 34 💀
🕳️ Fell into a black hole, the Wi-Fi still didn’t work. 📶
🧟♂️ Zombies eat brains, so I’m safe—I’m a vegetarian. 🥦
💀 Life’s a joke, and I’m the punchline. 🤡
⚰️ Signed up for a marathon, ended up running from responsibilities. 🏃♂️
🖤 My shadow left me, said I’m too dark. 🌑
☠️ Death called, I told him I’m too tired to answer. 😴
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 35 💀
☕ I drink coffee for your protection, not mine. 😈
🔪 Tried to kill time, but it fought back. ⏳
🦴 Skeletons don’t fight, they just bone up. 💀
🛌 Went to bed early, had nightmares about my to-do list. 📋
🕷️ Spiders are my spirit animals, always lurking in dark corners. 🕸️
🎢 Life’s a rollercoaster, and I forgot my seatbelt. 🎠
💀 Dark Humor Jokes Collection - Part 36 💀
🧟♂️ I’m not lazy, I’m just in zombie mode. 🧟♀️
⚰️ If life gives you lemons, just hope it’s not your last breath. 🍋
🩸 Blood type: caffeine positive, always needing a fix. ☕
🕯️ My life’s a candle, burning out one awkward moment at a time. 🔥
🧪 Tried to mix happiness and sanity, ended up with chaos. ⚗️
🎭 Life’s a tragic comedy, and I’m stuck as the punchline. 🤡